It’s National Carers’ Week and we thought we’d mark that by speaking to one of our colleagues to understand more about what it is.
There are thousands of people out there who don’t realise they are an unpaid carer, providing unpaid help and support to a family member, partner, relative, friend who cannot manage without their help.
Rob Haines is DHU’s Deputy Director of Urgent and Emergency Care and also an unpaid carer himself, this is what he told us…
‘Huge amounts of love and joy…”
“I am an unpaid carer for my daughter Annie, she’s 24 years old this year and was diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy at 14 months. As well as being a parent, a dad, I still find it hard to acknowledge also being an unpaid carer.
“It brings huge amounts of love and joy, but also a range of emotions. Feeling overwhelmed is not uncommon, as are feelings of resentment and guilt. Learning to recognise these and consider strategies for managing resilience and mental wellbeing are really important, as is the ability to focus in on the things that you can control, as there is so much that is unknown.
“Support has been crucial, I am lucky to be married to the wonderful Rachel who has been the primary carer for Annie. Together, we have navigated many challenges, uncertainties and difficulties over the years, but also huge highs, most often when Annie has achieved things that we would not have thought possible in the beginning.
“We have two sons as well and Annie has enriched our family lives beyond words. Being unpaid carers has certainly broadened our understanding and perspective on life, and our acceptance of uniqueness, and the importance of equity.”
“Supportive, understanding and caring…”
According to Carers UK there are more than six million carers in the UK, saving the economy billions of pounds, keeping families together and the health service manageable. More than a third of unpaid carers looking after a family member or friend take three years or more to realise that they are caring, often because they continue to see themselves primarily as a loved one or friend.
“I’ve found DHU to be very supportive, understanding and caring of my responsibilities but it only works by talking about it. The support is there because I have that kind of open relationship with line managers and colleagues, I can be flexible because they know I have caring responsibilities. I would find it much more difficult if I didn’t talk about it so openly.
“That’s what awareness campaigns are about: providing information; helping you build confidence to speak to those around you about your situation; and the realisation that you are not alone. If you are prepared to be open in a way that feels comfortable for you, you might be surprised how people reciprocate and the resources and support they can offer.”